Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Frog in the Well

Yes, that's the latest collection of my 365 layouts all stacked up! Isn't it just fabulous? I just love that I will have this year entirely captured in pictures! I've already started to think what kind of album/theme I want to make next year! Now this blog is my other place for recording what doesn't get captured in the 365 album, like the thought of the week. :)

A "frog in the well"is a chinese saying that means someone who is so out of touch with the world and only knows his bit of the world but thinks that it is all there is. It is also the recent complaint of Jared, who claims that we are making him into a "frog in the well".
What an incredulous claim to come from our 10 year old! At first we thought it was so funny, but it made me think. It started one day at a bookshop when we would not agree to buy him the latest Pokemon Annual. Then he went on about how he no longer knows so many things his friends knows, that he is outdated, not able to keep up with the latest trends and fads (yes he knows the word), all because we do not allow and will not buy them any Nintendo, PSP, Wii or the like! He also claims Ryan and him are the only children in his entire school that do not have a mobile phone!! (I'm sure that is not true?) He cried a few times talking about this and seemed genuinely sad and feeling deprived.
What's a parent to do? In our efforts to protect them from the addictive influence of what we feel are stuff they can well do without, we are faced with the pull of the idea of not depriving our children. Are we being unrealistically strict, given the world they live in? Some say if they grow up deprived they will become even more addicted to what they could not have. I choose to believe if we give them much more of what we think is good, it will balance out what they do not get to have. Now giving them much more of what is good, that is the tough part!
Then again, Ryan is not complaining. So at least one kid thinks it is okay? Or maybe he is just more reticent by nature... :) . And so we press on, pray for God's wisdom, and are determined not to give in, (check back again in a year or so), even if that makes us frogs in the well!
Do you have similar struggles? Not over the same things perhaps, but something you want to hold on to, but are up against the pressures of the world? Thanks anyways if you read this far of my ramblings!

Finally here's my latest 365 layout. I got this particular page idea from the evernote site home page. I'm keeping to my theme of white background clean lines layout style for this entire album. It makes for fast scrapping and capturing of the year!
Credits: word art by Danielle D designs, papers all from Bren Boone, heart by Kate Hadfield, doodled border by Emily Meritt, alpha from Weeds & wildflowers.
Template 148 can be downloaded here.Leave me a comment if you download! Oh, for the folded corners, after you have clipped your chosen paper to that layer, lower the opacity, or change to overlay blending mode so the curved shadow shows through.

60 comments:

  1. Thanks for the wonderful template. You are so generous to share!

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  2. Thank you for another awesome template!

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  3. I recently discovered your work and I LOVE it. Thank you so much for the inspiration and wonderful templates!!! Julie P.

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  4. Don't worry about depriving your boys!!! I have three grown children, all who were terribly deprived ;-) in their youth, ie no expensive designer jeans or shoes, no personal TVs, no cars on their 16th birthdays, etc. Today, they are all wonderful, contented adults who thank us for how they were brought up. The biggest thank you of all, said by all at various times, was for staying together and happily so. God has incredibly blessed and I pay that He will do the same as you seek to wisely bring up your children.
    Thank you for the wonderful template!

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  5. Merci beaucoup pour ce template

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  6. I have mostly been a blog lurker, but was inspired to comment today. You are so incredibly talented and you are very generous. I love using your templates! I have purchased many and they are my favorites!

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  7. My little girl is only 2 and I'm already trying to decide how I want to handle the inevitable want-want-wants. You sound like a great mom -- stick with your instincts!

    Thanks for the template. I really can't get enough of these!

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  8. Always a pleasure to see your work! Thanks for a great template.

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  9. Thanks for all your wonderful templates. I too am usually a blog lurker, but also felt compelled to comment. With an 18 yr old and a 14 yr old, we too have heard it all. "but everyone has a cell phone, I'm the only kid that doesn't" Well our son was the only kid for quite a while. He had to earn a cell phone and it took him 3 years. After earning it, he had to continue to earn it by keeping his grades up. If the grades were below a B, the cell phone was placed on the counter and didn't move until the grades came back up. Happily I report he is now in college. My daughter is on her 3rd year of earning. It hasn't happened yet for her. But she will be much more appreciative of it when she finally does earn it. Hope she will keep her grades up to keep it when she does. You aren't bad parents - actually your the best parents and your boys will someday thank you for it.

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  10. Great template. Very unique! Thanks!

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  11. Thanks for your wonderful templates, I LOVE them!! I never had all the latest styles growing up and I survived. I'll admit that I give my kids more than I had, but I make them earn it. Just go with your gut and trust your instincts, you sound like a wonderful Mom! And if your kids ever feel like your being mean just tell them that "Yup, I'm the meanest one on the block" I tell my boys that all the time LOL. Good luck!
    Rachel

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  12. I am so excited to have found your blog. I love your templates! Thanks for sharing.

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  13. Thank you, thank you for another wonderful template and for sharing your gorgeous layouts with us. You're always an inspiration!!!

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  14. Hi Yin, thanks for showing my layouts! Your new ones are lovely. Are you posting your project 365 photos online somewhere? I'd love to see them all.

    As for your kids, I have to say that for me that sounds strict but I also completely understand what you are trying to accomplish. I can't believe kids these days how they walk around with their eyes glued to a portable gaming device at ALL times, or their cell phone at ALL times... it's ridiculous!

    I think if you feel strongly, you should hold to what you are doing. But if you think it really is important enough to your kids, maybe you can consider small doses of these things.
    For example, my friend who has 2 boys got them a Wii, but they are only allowed to play as a family. The boys don't play it whenever they want, dont' waste hours on end in front of it. Instead it is for family entertainment and therefore becomes a part of quality family time together. Something like that would allow them to feel they can do a little more of what their friends do, but you also have rules for it and keep it as part of family fun time.
    Or if it were a portable gaming device, maybe the rule could be it is only for car trips or airplanes, and not to be played all the time at home, at school, etc.

    However, as I said if you feel strongly about not having these things in your kids lives at all, then you should stick to that and just try to communicate to them your reasons why, and that it's not because you are trying to make them 'a frog in the well' :)

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  15. Thanks for the template!

    Hmm. I'm not a parent but I think I would have a parenting style closer to yours, than that of more lenient parents. My parents didn't give us lots of things either. I didn't own a car until I could afford to buy it myself at age 25, three years after I moved away from home. I was buying most of my own clothes at age 16 - my parents bought the big ticket items, like a new winter coat, but I bought everything else with money from my part-time jobs. (I was also an A student...) You quickly learn that your money will go further if you avoid brand names, gadgets, etc. I agree - 10 is probably too young for a cell phone. Earning the privilege, starting at that age, would work. I think 14 to 16 is a good age, as they are more responsible and start to get more independent... e.g., heading to the mall with friends, or out to a movie. It's easier to keep in touch with them, and they can call if they get themselves into a situation they need help with. At any rate, I would expect them to pay their own cellphone bill... The suggestion re: the Wii sounds reasonable, too. Buy it as a family gift (e.g., Christmas), but set clear ground rules. Play only when all chores & homework are done, etc., etc.. Good luck! - A Canuck

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  16. Love the template. Thank you!
    Keep up the great parenting. I completely agree with you about addictive electronics and the like. One day he may even thank you. God bless! :)

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  17. Thank you so much! I love finding great templates that have spots for a lot of pictures. I don't like using the ones that only have one or two pictures on a page. Yours will work wonderfully!

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  18. i think no for the phone and yes for 1 !!!! game system. not everyone that comes out. Ground rules a plus though. I just know that i had a very strict household growing up and while i appreciate what my parents were trying to do I feel that some of it truely strained our relationship for many years to come. Try small doeses with ground rules and make them EARN their privilages if you feel that it is a good thing for your family.

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  19. Wow, I love your layouts, so clean and simple! Thanks for the template!

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  20. Thanks so much for this wonderful double template and for the tips on how to use it. I personally think most kids have far too much "stuff" today which takes up their time and separates them from their families. I agree with Christie if you ever decide to get your boys a game system that it is to be played with as a family. But they will live just fine without one also. I also think it is not good for kids to have computers or televisions in their own rooms. Those also should be for family times. It's also your job as a parent to know what they are watching/where they are surfing, etc. As far as cell phones go, I think the only cell phone kids of any age (yes, sorry, but even teenagers) should be an inexpensive (think Tracfone, under 100 dollars a year for the phone and more than enough "important" minutes) phone with only enough minutes for them to use in case of emergency or to keep their parents posted of their whereabouts. Texting? No. But I am a grandmother with grown children, so I know I am "old fashioned." My children were raised the same as Barbara's -- "terribly deprived." I am, however, happy to report that my grandchldren (1-16) are being raised conservatively and without all the latest this and that and are turning out just fine. It sounds to me like you are doing a nice job with your parenting and are putting a lot of thought into it. You know your kids better than anyone else ever could, so just keep trusting your mothering instinct. Commit them to the Lord, and He will lead you. Sorry to have rambled so long.

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  21. Thank you! Your blog post will be advertised on the DigiFree Digital Scrapbooking Freebie search engine today (look for timestamp: 29 Sep [LA 07:00pm, NY 09:00pm] - 30 Sep [UK 02:00am, OZ 12:00pm] ).

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  22. Thank you so much for sharing your templates! They are so fun and easy to use, and perfect for the Project 365.

    Here is my week 37 using one of your templates: http://dmard.mine.nu/365/p365_09w37_600.jpg
    I scrap both mine and my DH's photos, so these 14 pictures are for one week.

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  23. Thanks once again for a great template.

    I so hear you with the "keeping up with the Joneses" story... my son of 7 is complaining because he doesn't have a mobile phone and "all" the other kids do... well I'm definitely not giving in on that one! Much rather keep the kids as kids for as long as possible than have them grow up with all the extra stuff around them.

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  24. I can relate to this post Yin. My 11 YO is beginning to notice the "Jones's". What they have that we might not. She i certainly not deprived, and like your boys wants for nothing. I can see from your layouts you are giving them EXACTLY what they need....LOVE! Blessings! Kristen

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  25. Thanks for the great Template! I appreciate your generosity.

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  26. Thanks so much. Glad you enjoyed our layouts its fun to see them highlighted.

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  27. Thank you so much for this Freebie. I want to let you know that I posted a link to your blog in CBH Digital Scrapbooking Freebies, under the Page 9 post on Sep. 30, 2009. Thanks again.

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  28. Thank you so much - ALWAYS love your templates. Good luck with your parenting... these are interesting times. :)
    Tracy

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  29. Hi Yin...first, thank you for all of your free templates...they are AWESOME. About "depriving" your boys. The only thing you seriously could deprive them of is love. No chance of that, for sure. But things? Not as important..but to a 10 year old.."things" are very important. That is why all 10 year olds need parents who can see the big picture! (lol) Anyway...give them the cell phone when YOU need them to have one...usually that's around 14-16 when you need to know where they are and it helps YOU feel safer for them. As far as the games...they are very addictive, you are right. They also can be fun to play with friends, so your 10 year old is right too. I did "give in" and buy a game system for my son at about 11-12 years old because I really liked having kids over to our house. It gives you the peace of mind that you know where they are, and you get to know their friends. Kids tend to congregate at houses where there are things to do..and let's face it...that's what boys love to do! We converted our little used living room (we have a family room too) into a "kids room" where they and their friends have an open invite to come over...and come over they do. Nothing fancy...a TV, a game system..computer. But supply them with endless snacks and boys are thrilled (my daughter and her friends too). I love it.
    Good luck..you are doing all the right things!!!!

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  30. beautiful template, thanks!

    And yes, we hear the same things here "when can I have a cell phone?" from our 4th grader. They have a lot but not everything and I don't think they need it all. Of course they think they do!

    And the little one doesn't understand why she can't do everything her big sister does. I explain her big sister earned that right and when she's in the 4th grade we'll see if she's earned the right as well. Maybe then she'll start listening to me? I can only hope!

    Parenting.. it's not easy but it's so worth it!

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  31. thank you for sharing your wonderful templates

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  32. Beautiful template! Thank you very much!

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  33. Thank you very much for the fun template! :)

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  34. Fabulous template! Thank you!

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  35. Thank you! I love your templates and your blog! I totally agree with you about not giving in to the cell phone thing yet. Keep up the good work.

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  36. Thank you!

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  37. Thanks for the template Yin, I love it. Your new blog design looks fantastic!

    Christine

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  38. thanks for the cool template!

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  39. Thanks so much! I love your templates!! Sue

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  40. Thank you. You do a wonderful job w/ templates.

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  41. I love how many pictures you get on your templates! If I can figure out ever how to do this inPSE7, I will love to buy some!
    Ellen

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  42. Thank you so much for the template!

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  43. Thanks! I appreciate the help getting things done. :-)

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  44. Superb template! Thank you!

    As far as "frog in the well," it is a constant struggle. Be thankful you and your husband agree on these issue. My children have some of the video game things, and I would rather they didn't, whereas my husband doesn't think it's an issue. I can honestly say that having video games has NOT improved my children or their behavior. I wish they didn't have them.

    I believe that as parents we have to choose what is best for our children. There is a scripture that says that it would be better to have a millstone put around your neck and be dropped into the ocean than to cause a little one to be lost. This is a serious responsibility. Children are too immature to know everything that is or isn't good for them, they don't see the big picture/the future.

    When they get to be adults, if they still feel they want these things, they will be able to do so. For now, the world will continue to turn. There is something that I tell my children when they want something they know they're not going to get. If they continue to ask, I tell them, "Spit in one hand and wish in the other. See which gets full first." LOL! I don't say this in a mean way, and they understand what I'm saying and it seems to lighten the mood a little. Every family is different, though, you have to decide which values are most important to you.

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  45. I forgot to add, that even though they have video games, they are limited to 1 hour per day on week ends only.

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  46. Thank you again! I'm totally loving all your templates.

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  47. Thanks for the templates.

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  48. I love the turned-down corners. You are so creative! Thank you so much for sharing. MWAH!

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  49. Thanks for sharing

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  50. yin, thanks again!

    -- dalis

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  51. Great Template, thanks for sharing.

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  52. Thank you for these wonderful templates!!

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  53. Thank you for another fabulous template!

    I have one child, a 10yo boy. I hear the same things on a fairly regular basis. Cell phones are not allowed at all at his elementary school, and personally I have absolutely no idea what an elementary child would be doing with a cell phone anyway. That being said, though, the 9yo son of a friend of mine has one but it's only used when he goes to visit his dad (they're divorced) so he can call her anytime he wants. He doesn't use it any other time. I, too, think that even high schoolers should be using the bare-minimum phone.

    As far as Nintendo, wii, etc., my son has a Nintendo DS that he got from Santa a couple of years ago. He is not the type to play it all day long, day after day. If he even thinks about getting like that, we tell him to quit playing or it'll be taken away for a long while. He says he's the only one in 4th grade without a wii. We tell him he doesn't need it. We tell him that if he thinks he's deprived that he should think about all the kids his age who would love to just be able to have a permanent roof over their heads and know that they will have food when they are hungry. In other words, we tell him to count his blessings. That makes him stop and realize that he has a lot!

    Parenting is hard! Sounds like you are doing a great job with your boys!

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  54. Thank you for your templates. I am so impressed with the beautiful books that you made that I am going to check out Shutterfly for my next book.

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  55. AnonymousJune 14, 2011

    Thank you so much for the wonderfull templates! you are so talented. I have some of your early digi design kits and still love to use them all the time! they are so timeless and beautiful. Thanks for sharing your talent!
    Susie

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  56. Thanks for these wonderful templates!
    Lilian

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